I can’t recall exactly how this conversation went, but I remember sharing with my mentor when we first started meeting about my love of to-do lists & the sense of accomplishment I would feel in crossing everything off. (At that time, I only had Jase and was pregnant with Kade.) She asked me what happened/how I felt when I didn’t get to cross everything off. And y’all, I honestly couldn’t answer because… well, I never let that happen.
I think I looked at her blankly and told her “I don’t know, I always get it all done.” Later she told me that she had to chuckle a little inside when she heard that. Being a homeschool mom of 7 lovely children (and knowing my heart to have a big family too), I guess she knew what was coming for me. Adding another kiddo to the mix has been pure JOY (especially if you know my sweet boys), but those to-do lists? Well, sometimes they don’t get done. And for the first time in my life, I am okay with that. Because my worth is not found in a to-do list.
If you’ve ever taken the StrengthFinders test, you know that one of the strengths described in the book is a “Maximizer.” That is my #1 skill and the description (both the strengths and areas of improvement) fit my personality to a T. Jonathan says all the time that he has no idea how I get as much done as I do (and as a words of affirmation girl, that is music to my ears). I prided myself on my ability to “get it all done.” I wonder how many times I missed an “eternal assignment” because I was too focused on my own agenda.
I know I’m not the only female out there who struggles with this, so I hope this is freeing for you like it has been for me. Hear me on this, sister…You are worth more than your to-do lists. More than your accomplishments. More than your career title. More than the degrees behind your name. More than what others think of you. More than a dress size or number on the scale. More than your bank account. More than the car you drive or house you live in. More than how many friends or followers you have.
Know and rest in this: There is nothing you can do to make God love to more, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you less. He IS love. Colossians 3 says you are CHOSEN. Psalm 139 says you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Maybe you are like me and thrive off of being productive and accomplishing tasks. There isn’t anything wrong with that, unless that becomes how you measure your worth. If you do, you’ll quickly see it’s never enough. You will always feel inadequate. (You might feel temporary satisfaction from accomplishing everything on your list that day or week, but there will ALWAYS be another list.) So instead, I want to encourage you to spend time with the Lord and truly SEEK Him. He will plant opportunities in your path for you to tell others about Jesus, to be a shining light, and to LOVE other& serve others. Ask the Lord to guide you so you keep a focus on things of eternal value and don’t get so caught up in your own agenda.
Don’t worry. I still make lists. I actually have lists organized by lists. But if I don’t get it done? (And I don’t.) No biggie. Because I know where my worth comes from. #Jesus