“What Not To Do”

A couple months ago we were out eating lunch and ran into a former student of mine. It was a young man I taught in middle school who was about to graduate high school. I could tell he was happy to see me and Jonathan and we were glad to see him too. (It’s always neat seeing them grow up and become adults).

After I asked him all about what he’s been doing and his plans for the future, I asked him about his parents. His demeanor totally shifted and he told me they got a divorce. I told him I was so sorry to hear that. He told me it was fine, but I told him it’s okay to feel sad about it and I know it can be hard. His next response has rang in my ears ever since. “That’s okay…I guess at least I learned what NOT to do in marriage.”

My heart broke for him when he said that.

Over the next couple weeks, that line just kept ringing in my head…”at least I learned what NOT to do.”

I thought about it a LOT. I reflected, then thought ahead 14 more years to when we will have our first kiddo graduating high school. Will he be saying “Well at least I learned what NOT to do from my parents when it comes to _________!” ?? What areas of my life do I need to tighten up? What aspects of my life am I not demonstrating excellence, or am I struggling to the point that my children won’t want to be like me? Where they feel like I was more of a lesson in what NOT to do than what TO do?

I have been praying that the Lord will give me wisdom and reveal those areas to me. I know I will never be a perfect mom, wife, or person…but I hope to be a positive example in as many areas as possible. “WWJD” is not just a bracelet – it’s a concept we should apply to our lives. To consider how Jesus would handle different situations. And if our goal is to be like Christ, I want our children to be able to think “How would mom and dad handle this? What would they do?”

Are there any areas of your life where you’re sending a message of “what NOT to do” rather than being an example of “what to do?”