Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Are We Accepting Society’s Norms?

A sweet friend from our Sunday School class came over a few weeks ago and she and I were talking about Christians blindly accepting so many of the world’s views and following suit. We have accepted societal norms even when they don’t line up with the Word of God. I’ve done it. (More than once, unfortunately.) And I’m ashamed to admit I still do it sometimes. I see it  often, even in well- meaning believers. We see our other Christian friends making choices and we follow in their footsteps, or base our decisions off of what we want or think is right without truly seeking the Lord. I’m trying to be more prayerful and study what the Word says rather than making decisions based on “self” or what is normal and expected. I have to KNOW the Bible in order to live by it.
So yes, this might be the most “blunt” I have ever been in a blog post, which naturally means someone will be offended. That is not my intention, but I think as women we need to get REAL about what the Bible says and stop watering it down for all this “feel good” mess. Most of these are personal convictions from what I have learned in studying the Bible. And please know that if you’re not a believer, I don’t expect you to agree with (any of all of) these. However, if you’re a Christian, I encourage you to read this and then go DIG IN THE WORD. Study it for yourself. Examine what Scripture says and pray through it. I know there will be some comments from Christians who don’t agree, and that’s totally fine. However, I do hope it challenges you to know WHY you don’t agree. It is coming from self? The church? It’s just the way you “feel”? (Hate to tell ya ladies, but our feelings can lie to us. Check out Jeremiah 17:9.) I know there are many more, but here are a few things I think have become commonplace thoughts and choices in today’s society. Some of these are the reason non-believers think many Christians are hypocrites and why the church isn’t being the light we are called to be. And the worst part? The enemy has blinded us to all of it and we are believing his lies that these things are “okay” or “not that bad.” Again, some of these are things I have done or struggled with, so I’m not over here pointing fingers. I am just trying to give some food for thought and asking you, as a woman of God, to truly consider what the Word tells us about these things.
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” Ephesians 5:15-17 (When you get a chance, read the whole book of Ephesians. It is powerful.)
*Sex before marriage. In today’s world where sexual immorality is flooding our minds from every outlet, it has become completely acceptable and even encouraged (despite what the Bible says about sex being a gift reserved only for the marriage bed). I can assure you, this sin will lead to destruction. If you get married, this is basically adultery. God designed sex to be pleasurable. Think of it as a fireplace. Don’t you enjoy a fire in a fireplace? It provides warmth…it’s nice to look at…it smells good…and you can make s’mores. (Ha!) But consider a fire outside of that fireplace. It will burn us, our possessions, and can cause turmoil. Sex is the same way. It is awesome within the bounds of marriage, but outside of it will lead to turmoil.
*Putting off having children. I know so many couples (us included, and one of my biggest regrets) who have a plan to enjoy being married and wait for a few years to have kids.”  I’m not saying it is a sin to wait, but what if that isn’t God’s plan? I just know that for many people, this choice is more about their plan than seeking the Lord for his timing. The Bible tells us that “Children are a heritage from the Lord” and “blessed is the man whose quiver is full.” I wish we hadn’t put it off and waited till “we were financially stable.” Our best years have DEFINITELY been since we have experienced the joy of having sweet babies.
*Birth control. I won’t get into all my thoughts on this either, but as a believer, I highly encourage you to look into when and how birth control entered into the U.S. and what birth control, IUDs, etc. are actually doing. The early churches and great preachers preached strongly against it because they knew the value godly offspring have in this world. Here is my encouragement to you. Research how birth control works, and pray about if you feel comfortable with that. Do not just accept that “other Christians take birth control so it must be fine.” I’ve heard all kinds of things- some women taking it for bad periods, some women like me taking it for acne, etc. t’s between you and the Lord, and no judgment, but it’s a personal conviction for me. After praying about it more, I will not take it ever again. Some research suggests that women taking birth control for an extended period of time can lead to a difficult time conceiving. And did you know that hormonal contraception is categorized on the WHO and American Cancer Society's lists as a Group 1 carcinogen? That is as high as it goes. That is the same category as cigarettes and asbestos! I took birth control for a while (I started taking it for my acne because it was my hormones causing it) and took it up until we started trying for Jase, but like I said, that is the last time. Now, for health reasons (because I had a c-section with my first baby), I needed to wait at least 18 months to get pregnant to give my body the best shot at VBAC. I did not take birth control for 18 months, and we managed to not get pregnant. There are other ways, friends. Maybe check out NFP. And on another note with that, I truly believe one of the BEST ways Christians can help bring some light into the world & positively impact others for Christ (aside from growing in our own walk to be more like Christ) is to HAVE MORE BABIES. (Or consider adoption and help other children who might not ordinarily be brought up in a God-fearing home.) We need more men and of faith who love the Lord and want to serve him. We need more strong men who are willing to lead, and more kind/loving women willing to serve. I know the words “birth control” are not found in the Bible, so study what the Word says about children.
*Going to college. Obviously college was not even an issue when the Bible was written, but God covered everything for us. This is NOT the only option, but for some reason (I have my thoughts but I won’t even get into my conspiracy theories about our government’s agenda) we are pushing everyone to pursue secondary education. Have y’all read what this is doing to our nation? The debt? The “extended adolescence”? The inability to find jobs? The entitlement mentality? This is the first generation who will not be more financially well off than their parents’ generation. (And while it’s not all about money, it is scary to consider the DEBT our nation is taking on as a whole.) Although there are several factors playing into this, it’s a scary place to be. We are destroying entrepreneurship across America. Don’t get me wrong- I enjoyed college, and I’m not anti-education by any means. I just don’t think it is for everyone. Have you considered, for example, the gap in construction? In a few years when this baby boomer generation is (hopefully) able to retire, there will be a huge gap because my generation has all gone off to school and won’t have any of those skills. Construction projects will either become CRAZY expensive, or they will all be subbed out to illegal immigrants who are willing to work for cheap labor (and won’t be paying taxes on that income). I am SUPER thankful Jonathan is highly skilled in several construction fields. Not only has it saved us a LOT of money around our own home, but he can also pass those trades on to our boys and give them a highly valued skill set that is becoming a dying trade. One last thing about pushing advanced education on everyone. We are teaching our girls that it is not okay to “just be a wife and mom” and thus diminishing the importance of that role. No wonder our society is a wreck! Plus, girls are getting married later in life so they can “experience life” or  “sow their wild oats” first. Newsflash: that immorality being promoted in the college years has consequences. The Bible is clear that you reap what you sow. Again, I’m not saying college is the devil. I have  a bachelor’s, Master’s, and Specialist’s degree, so I did all that. I just wish someone would have told me I had other options- especially with grad school and advanced education
*Debt. How have we come to accept debt as such a normal part of life? Debt is not okay. In coaching people through this process, you would be AMAZED at the number of people who tell me “We don’t have any debt. Just our car and house payment.” Or “Our only debt is our mortgage.” Since when does a mortgage not count? Why do we think it is good debt? Consider this - 55% of Americans break even or spend more than they make each month. 57% are not prepared for a financial setback and the average American has $150K in mortgage debt and $45K in credit card and school loans! The Bible is clear that “the borrower is a slave to the lender.” We need to learn to pay off debt so we can give more, and the only way to do that is to live beneath our means.
*Women working outside the home. I am not saying it is a sin to work outside the home. I did for 5 years and I LOVED teaching. There have been lots of women who have and continue to positively impact society with their work. Working isn’t the issue for me. However,I feel like we need to address the opposite side of that coin. Women do not have to work outside the home to be “productive members of society.” The issue for me lies when career is placed ahead of the home and our husbands, children, and homes are getting our leftovers. When this happens, the “work” needs to be reevaluated. Women are created to be a help meet to their husband. (If you are a Christian, there is just no arguing that. Any comments against this, which is CLEARLY spelled out in the Word, further validates & confirms for me that Christians are being deceived into accepting societal norms.) I know that is not a popular concept, but that is what the Word tells us. Eve was created out of Adam’s rib to be a helper to him. Not to be independent (you see where that got us), but to be a helper and companion for Adam. Society (the enemy, especially through the Industrial Revolution and the feminist movement) has perverted the concept of submission. That’s why so many marriages are struggling and ending in divorce rather than thriving. I think you can at least agree with me that our world has NOT become a better place in the last 60 –70 years since moms have left the homes in masses to enter the work force, right? Crime rates, STDs, drug abuse, etc. have all risen at astounding rates, and I think it’s in large part because kids have too much freedom and don’t understand consequences for their actions. It surprises me when husbands would prefer their wives work. Jonathan Butler would dig ditches 24 hours a day if he had to so I could stay home. (Of course I don’t want that- it is really important to me for our boys to have as much TIME with him as possible so he can model for them how to be a godly man.)
For me, I was not able to be the help meet I needed to be when I was working outside the home. I was a busy body and always on the go. I actually prided myself on that until I realized that my home was being neglected. Yea, maybe I cooked dinner and kept it pretty clean, but I wasn’t being  a true help meet. Now let me say this. The Proverbs 31 woman is not lazy, and in fact, she does work to bring in an income. However, she makes sure she takes care of the affairs of her home first and foremost. That is our primary calling- to  be ministers IN the home. (Again, Christian ladies.. please feel free to share Scriptures that don’t back this up if you find them. But everything I have EVER read in the Bible addressing God’s design and role for women supports this.)  How can we minister to others when we aren’t even taking care of our own four walls?? That being said, I also know some women whose desire is to be home but their husbands prefer them to work. In this case, I believe she should be submissive to her husband and the  Lord will honor and bless her while she prays the Lord changes her husband’s heart. I’m still working on this one myself BIG TIME, but we are a lot more likely to win our husbands by being ‘quiet and meek’ and prayer warriors rather than whiney & demanding. There are several Scriptures to back this one up too.
*Needing 2 incomes. This goes along with the whole debt issue (which is also a Biblical issue). The reality is, most of us don’t need two incomes, but we choose to live beyond our means. We are a society with more valuables than values and more stuff than memories. It is sad. Most people believe the lie that they truly cannot survive off one income, but that’s usually because they are unwilling to recognize the sacrifices that can be made. I recently heard someone say “If you have sable or a smart phone, you don’t have  a money problem- you have a choice problem.” And that is so true! I just wanted to share this because I think so many young couples assume that you HAVE to have two incomes to survive. That is not necessarily the truth, and it’s important to seek the Lord to determine what He wants for your family (and your finances).
*Gluttony. We have a tendency to categorize sin, but I feel like as Christians we often think gluttony is (more) acceptable than some others in the “list.” I can think of some times I have majorly struggled with this one. It is not okay when health -related issues are the result of gluttony, and thus keep us from serving others the way we are called to serve. We are called to be disciplined and demonstrate self-control.We are a society that completely lacks the concept of “moderation,” and that allows other things to become idols in our life. Gluttony can lead to idolatry, although we rarely see the correlation. The reality is, the Bible describes gluttony as a sin, and there are consequences for our sins because God loves us. The Bible is not a rule book with a bunch of rules and regulations meant to keep us from enjoying life. It is meant to allow us to live a life of JOY and freedom rather than bondage.
FYI: Quick story. Someone commented and suggested that me living in a nice home is “gluttony.”  I wanted to share a quick story with you (paraphrased from The Legacy Journey) that will hopefully give some insight in to judging others’ finances in that aspect. There was a time when I looked at wealthy folks and judged them for not “giving everything to the poor.” In reality, there is a likely chance they give more (proportionally to their income, of course) than I do. For example, the story in the book was about an extremely wealthy man who drove a $150,000 car. People judged him for driving that nice of a car and said he should have been giving more money to those in need. However, that car, in proportion to his income is what most people spend on a latte. So…are you drinking lattes?? That’s some perspective, huh?  That same man was also giving MILLIONS to those in need each year, so that $150,000 was a drop in a bucket compared to what he made and gave. SO, because you have no idea how much money we make, tithe, give, etc., it is silly to make an assumption that the home God gave us (and yes, we do believe that because we fervently prayed we would end up exactly where HE wants us to live) is gluttony.  (Now, the 7-8 protein bites I ate today…ya might have me there. Ha!)
*Drinking. I am not anti-drinking and I don’t judge others for having a drink. Jonathan and I personally do not drink anymore at all, and again, that is a personal conviction for both of us. We have alcoholism in our family and we are worried that it could be a gateway for our children to struggle if they see us drinking and think it’s okay. The issue for me is that there is such a fine line with having a drink or two and becoming drunk, and the Word tells us in multiple places to not give in to drunkenness and to be sober. I have never heard anyone say “I started drinking and my life became so much better.” Have you?  I think Lori covered this topic really well in this post, and if you disagree with me on this one, I highly encourage you to check out her viewpoint: How Much Alcohol Should a Christian Drink
*Divorce. The Bible tells us that God hates divorce, but we all know the statistics. Unfortunately the church’s divorce rates are pretty close to non-believers.Satan is destroying the family unit and perverting marriage by having us believe divorce is an acceptable answer. Usually, divorce roots back to the fact that one or both spouses are unwilling to change. “You love your kids enough that you would die for them without hesitation; but do you love them enough that you’re wiling to change for them?”
*Judgment. Sometimes we are quick to judge, and I know there is nothing that turns non-believers off faster than a judgmental Christian. We don’t have to and shouldn’t accept the world’s views (hello, that’s what the whole post is about). And we have to be really careful finding the balance between loving the person but hating the sin. The only way to draw others to Christ is to LOVE them. The two greatest commandments are to Love God and Love others. In Sunday school this week we were talking about who constitutes as our neighbor, and y’all, it’s everyone. Now, that being said, I want to cover the other side of that coin. Sometimes as Christians we are so worried about being called judgmental that we become tolerant of sin. I do want to suggest that there IS a difference between judgment and discernment. As believers, we should be able to discern good vs. evil and Biblical truth vs. worldly views. The Holy Spirit gives us that discernment, and that is a good thing. Check your heart to decide if it’s your discerning spirit telling you something is going against God’s Word or if you’re being judgmental.
*Laziness. The Bible is clear about the consequences of laziness. We are called to work hard as if working for the Lord. What are we modeling for our children in this area? Would you be satisfied if your child’s work ethic mimics that of your own? I feel like the obesity epidemic goes back to laziness. Moms aren’t putting the work in to learning how to prepare healthy meals, and convenience foods aren’t cutting it nutritionally. It’s easier to put our kids in front of a video rather than chase them around the house playing with them and watch them as they play. (We watch videos too. I’m not saying they are bad, but kids are spending more time in front of electronics than they do running around.) Often times we dismiss not having a tidy home, but the reality is it leads back to us spending more time on social media than being busy inside our homes. I personally enjoy working out, but there are other types of work that keep you in shape besides going to the gym. Yard work, house work, chasing around kiddos. Not only am I referring to laziness inside the home, but even when people do go to work, many times they are just waiting for time to pass and aren’t giving their best. I am SO thankful for those that do give their best and the positive impact that has on society.
*Selfishness. We are called to honor others above ourselves. Selfishness is the root of half of society’s problems in my opinion. I know that most of the disagreements in any relationship are rooted back to selfishness. The entitlement mentality that is wreaking havoc on our economy is tied back to selfishness. We are a society taught to look out for #1 and put our own needs above anyone else’s, even though that is the exact opposite of what Jesus epitomized during his time on earth. As Christ followers, isn’t our goal to be more like Jesus? Marriage is the worst place for selfishness. I love this quote: “Being a little boy's mama means loving your husband the same way that you'd want your son to be loved." Isn’t that a great filter & perspective? Be the kind of wife you want your sons to marry. Love your husband the way you want your sons to be loved by their future wives.
*Pride. The is one that I personally struggle with, and as I see it in others, it REALLY makes me want to get a grip on it. It is AWFUL, and it is the worst being around someone who is arrogant and always thinks they are right.It’s hard for Christ to shine through with the glorification of self, and the worst part about pride is that many times the most prideful people are too proud to recognize it’s even a struggle. Pride is destructive and has ruined more marriages, churches, and relationships than we can imagine.

Whew. I know. I know that is intense. I know that is some “old school” views and not very popular. I know lots of people, even believers, will think this is ridiculous. But take one look at the world we live in. Do you feel like things are going well around us?? What has changed? I am all about grace and mercy, but I am not all about accepting society’s norms that blatantly go against the Word of God. And when I study the Word, these are some things that stick out to me. No, you’re not going to see “college” or “birth control” in the Bible, but God is omniscient and omnipotent, and they are covered in the Bible. You may just have to do some digging & studying & praying! I have personally  had to repent for several of these, and I realize my ignorance doesn’t make them any more okay. We have to study the Bible to know what it says, and then choose to follow it despite what the world and the modern church say. I hope you heard my heart and that I didn’t offend you, but if you were offended, maybe consider WHY. I wish someone had shared some of these truths with me (in love) when I was younger. This post was not meant to be condemning, but rather thought provoking and challenging. I hope it helped you consider a different view on something that maybe you blindly accepted as truth (the way I have so many times).I hope this challenges you to dig in to Scripture for yourself and prayerfully seek the Lord on choices and sins you may have tolerated. And before you comment, I would love for you to include the Scripture to back up your thoughts. I am not offended by commenters who disagree by any means (and I will post them as long as they are not inappropriate), but please understand you are just further proving my point that we are blindly accepting society’s ways if you post an opinion not backed by Scripture.


Haleigh Perry said...

I really needed this! Thank you so much for sharing your heart...this makes me take a good look at my own. As Christians it is very easy to point fingers at the chaos around us, but far too often do we actually point our finger at ourselves and truly see the sin in our own hearts. I feel like some of the above are definitely some sins that get "overlooked" by Christians at times, myself included. We have to renew our minds and hearts daily with the word of God in order to be blameless before Him. Thank you again for the encouragement!

Soleta Norris said...

The only thing I would like to say about this is on the subject of having children. While my husband and I have been blessed with 3 beautiful children, we feel very strongly that God is leading us to adopt to expand our family. There are so many children that need a family, and what better way to share and live out the Gospel than adoption! Our Heavenly Father has adopted us as children into His kingdom though we have done nothing to deserve it. Why not show that same love to others? By taking some of these kids that are statistically shown to be at risk for trouble and struggles later, and raising them to be men and women of God, we are accomplishing two goals at once!

Anna Lintern said...

I agreed with a lot of this post and what you had to say but I did struggle with one of them. The putting off of children. It is one thing I have struggled with myself daily. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, I was on birth control since we started dating (to prevent and acne reasons but I recently went off of it, we will be trying for a baby soon), he was in grad school the first two years of our marriage & then an intern making minimum wage and we now just bought our first home this year. I have talked about this with my husband time and time again. I wonder all the time if God thinks I am a bad person for waiting. If I could have I would have tried for a family the night we got married but my husband and I just were not in a position to (he was working division one football and then in the NFL & was working all the time) and I would have been raising our family by myself. I know God has a plan for us and I worry all the time if I have ruined it. We didn't feel pressure from anyone to wait and "have fun before kids" or anything like that. We wanted to make sure that we can afford our future children and had a secure home to welcome them into.
I know that was a mouthful and I am not upset by what you wrote (I agree with it!) but I just am wondering how God feels about the fact I have waited. Am I a bad person for going against God's plan? But then I think what if God had me wait for a reason? Twins run in my family and I think, "well what If I have twins? God had me wait for that so I can support them?" I know it's a lot you can't answer. But it's just my thoughts.
Thank you again for this post!

Anonymous said...

This grandma says, Bravo! And if I may say something about waiting for children , my experience is that , in hindsight, one should be open to children always because there may never be a " later" . One of you may become ill, or you may not have a long fertility window in your physical make-up, or a million other reasons. Getting pregnant is more difficult with each passing year. That is best done on God's schedule.
And don't ever let money worries stop you from having children. There is an old saying " with every baby God sends a loaf of bread".

Anonymous said...

Conspiracy theorist, much? Sad that you try to pass off your few minutes of Internet research as valid to the followers of your blog. You have no medical degree, correct? You have no business giving advice on birth control. Also, sincerely hope nothing like death, divorce or disability ever happens to you or your followers who choose not to work outside the home. I certainly wouldn't be a stay at home spouse unless I had a trust fund and knew I could always take care of myself and my children without wholly relying on my spouse. Too much risk.

Aundrea said...

We've never met but your blog is such a blessing to me. Thank you for sharing your heart and convictions. I completely agree with all of this and am hoping for my own vbac in November (and love those posts too :)

Anonymous said...

I have been following this blog for two years and I've always loved it until now. The reading stops today. Some people honestly can't afford to stay home and keep popping out kids. Another point is in reality YES, most of the time two incomes are needed. I know when I drop my son off at school and carry myself to work that I am doing the right thing. I would rather help my husband out with bills than sit back and watch him 'dig ditches' for 24 hours a day. There is a little more to my marriage than cleaning our home and cooking all day.

Heather Moffit said...

You did awesome! And way to say what Satan doesn't want you to say. People say you're old school well here is the truth GOD is old school! He wrote the bible and it's all old school😊 Weather people want to agree or disagree they need to know the truth so thank you for being brave. People want to hear what they want too to fit there desires and wants but our lives should be all about God! God created us to worship and adore him alone! God is a jealous God and wants all of us! We can all come up with excuses to not fallow God and his holy bible but when we come face to face with him we will have to answer to him alone.

Anonymous said...

You are completely out of touch with reality. Do you really think no one should take birth control? A woman's place is in the home? I'm sad that you are so sheltered and brainwashed by whatever conservative close-minded person is running your "church". Wow.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with all your points,thank you for writing this! I especially liked your views on most people living above this means,you are correct. My husband is a teacher and I stay home with our three kids,and we make it work. When people ask what my husband does,they look at me in disbelief of how we are able to survive.you do not know how bad I want to say well unlike you,we do nt live above our means. I am extremely thankful to be raising our kids myself and teaching them myself before they go out into the real world starting with kindergarten.i will have all the wonderful memories knowing what I did for my kids by staying home and no pay check could ever replace that. Thanks again for your brave post!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this!! Thanks so much for sharing :) I've followes your blog since jase was 1, and this is by far one of my favorite postings! Thanks Danielle!

Anonymous said...

As a 5th grade teacher, I can't agree with every part of this post. I chose to go to college because I believe I am called to teach. I didn't "sow wild oats" in college, I did my work and graduated in three years while actively participating in church and several ministries. I now teach in a low-income school district, and I believe I make a difference in the lives of my kids. I also believe I am exactly where God wants me to be. I certainly don't teach because I think we can't survive without my second income.
I come home from work and cook dinner for my husband and clean my house. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But I have never felt more at peace with my life. I think it's unfair to make a rash generalization and claim that "the world we live in" is because I went to college and work outside my home.
The Bible says that creation groans for the second coming of Christ. I believe that we live in a fallen world that is in desperate need of a savior, whether you work at home or not. The only thing that can fix the state of the world is our risen savior, not every woman dropping out of college to become a homemaker.
I'm not trying to attack you and I believe you made some valid points. I just don't believe the sweeping generalizations of people's lives and circumstances are accurate or fair.

Naomi Johnson said...

I totally agree!!! I think it is a matter of faith and trusting in God that allows us to do all of these things. My hubby and I decided before marriage that we would make sure I could be home so I could take care of the home and any future children. Technically, it wasn't possible. But week after week and now 14 years later, I am still home with our children and the money always seems to come. Side jobs and overtime always came right when we needed it!! We had to just trust that this was the Lord's will for us and it always seems to work out!!

Bec74 said...

This post is so offensive in so many ways. college is overrated , keep popping out babies, woman shouldn't work, sex before marriage is basically adultery? So much is wrong with what you wrote.. But you're allowed your opinion. We just don't all have to agree with it.

Anonymous said...

Agree totally!!!!

Anonymous said...

Danielle, great post. For all of you who think she's saying women should not work and stay home, go back and re-read that part! She said it is NOT a sin to work outside the home, but you also don't have to earn a paycheck to be useful. Taking care of your husband and children is very useful for a healthy society. You might have to sacrifice but it's so worth it.

Anonymous said...

You're correct, she didn't call it a sin. What she did was rip thoes who choose to work outside the home to shreds. She said a woman's primary goal is to minister and how can she minister if she can't take care of her own four walls. What????
And if you have a messy home your lazy? Some people don't care. Doesn't make them any less of a woman, a Christian or a parent/wife.
Also.. She states if the husband wants the wife to work outside the home she should be submissive and do what he says. What??????
I'm embarrassed she even used thoes words. My marriage is a partnership. I'm not a Duggar.
By the way, I am a stay at home mom and a Christian.

Anonymous said...

Your whole comment shows that you don't trust God. You only trust yourself and what you can see.

Anonymous said...

I am challenged as a Christian by reading this blog, as I have for many years. I wish you had included a part about gay marriage. I think gay marriage is the devil's perversion of marriage, but I also try and remember to love everyone first above all else and treat people equally as I would want to be treated.

I think you alluded to gay marriage, but I challenge you to address things more specifically. You do go head on with so many topics, and I was disappointed to see that gay marriage wasn't specifically addressed in this post.

Anonymous said...

Danielle, I have been reading your blog for almost 2 years now (it has blessed me greatly!), and I must say, this has to be my favorite post yet! THANK YOU for being bold and standing up for the ways and the truth of the Lord. This post will offend those (even Christians) who are walking contrary to the them. Sharing these truths and pointing people to the Lord and his word is the most loving thing that you can do. I pray that you will continue to be bold and stand strong in your faith, and do not let the ugly comments bring you down. God bless!

Anonymous said...

I know plenty of Christians who trusted God and who have had unexpected, bad things happen to them. Many of them are women who stayed at home who were unexpectedly faced with a divorce from their husband or untimely death of a spouse. Many have expressed how they wished they had worked or had some good, reliable type of income of their own (not a MLM scheme) so they could have been better prepared. Instead, they've had to move back in with relatives and scramble to find work to try to take care of their children. Shame on you for promoting this false sense of true womanhood and belittling those who also provide for their household.

Anonymous said...

I am a Christian, and I am offended . Not because I'm walking contrary to her beliefs.. But because this is NOT what I believe is "the way and the truths of the Lord". This is hers (and yours) way .
If you believe for one minute the lord doesn't want woman to work or go to college.. Then you and I don't believe the same thing.
That doesn't make me right, or you right. It means we believe different.

Anonymous said...

You preach gluttony yet you live in a mini McMansion. Ha. Oh, but I'm sure you prayed to God and he told you he would rather you build a quarter of a million dollar home for yourself and a walk in closet for your overload of clothes rather than donate that money to help the needy.

You preach staying at home when conveniently you're 'staying at home'. Strange. When you were working it was all 'I need to be busy and productive!'

It's always what's convenient for you in your life at that moment. You're a joke and so is this blog.

Anonymous said...

I am a Chrisitan and believe that you are on point on several of these beliefs and truths. This may sound bad but although I could stay at home, and my husband is supportive of either choice I make, I am a better mom and much happier going to work every single day. For me, this is just what works for me and my family. I still feel that I am an equal at home and a solid support system for my husband. We work together to get things accomplished around the house and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Also, I am very happy that I work because when my husband recently lost his job it reduced a lot of the financial stress. We have plenty of money saved in case of an emergency like this, but know that we have one solid income flowing in and it makes it more bearable.
Thank you for being confident to share your thoughts and beliefs!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad gay marriage wasn't addressed, as from the tone of the post, any comments made would have been potentially upsetting and probably offensive. Personally, (as a straight, 26yr old, educated, professional woman) I feel like anyone who needs to try to remember to love someone "even if they're gay" is more of a harm to society than any homosexual couple who love one another could ever be. Open your mind and evolve. I used to love this blog, but some of these things just did not need to be said.

Anonymous said...

You have made some valid points, although I completely disagree about college and working outside the home. I just wanted to touch a little on birth control. I agre with you that his birth control was started in this country with Margret Sanger and the eugenics movement is awful. I completely disagree with her on that. However, I do not ovulate on my own. I struggled to get pregnant with my son and through ultrasound the discovered that I have only fully ovulated a handful of times in my 28 years of life (3 of those times were because of fertility drugs) . When someone does not ovulate you have break through bleeding A LOT this would cause me to have 20+ day periods. Right now I am on birth control in order to have a regular cycle until we are ready to try for our next baby. I know you talked about waiting to have children as well, BUT since I do not ovulate I have to have medical interventions to get pregnant which cost $$$ and insurance does not always cover the costs. So you are right about the politics behind the birth control movement but there are some medically necessary reasons to be on birth control. I also feel like I am taking it so I WILL be able to have more children. It is dangerous to have bleeding like that for extended periods of time.

Jill said...

Danielle, I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your boldness and the TRUTH that you are not afraid to speak. I have been thoroughly enjoying your blog for quite some time... as we have some of the same interests. Thank you for sharing!

Kelly Ford said...

Wow. That was a lot!
Ok, so I guess what I dont like here is how you begin your post with talking about how we've accepted societal norms that are blatantly against Gods word and then go on to include so many things that are your own personal convictions for the path that God has for you but is obviously not against Gods word. In fact, MOST of your categories fall under this...
What I would say is this... as was so eloquently written so many years ago and not so eloquently paraphrased by me today... if wicked men whose whole life purpose was opposed to God (Stalin, Hitler, etc) could not thwart the will of God, why do you think that your decisions have the ability to do such?
God gives us so much FREEDOM! Freedom to choose to wait to have children or not, go to college or not, etc. I am a FIRM believer that these decisions are a part of how he brings glory to himself... i do NOT believe that the bible teaches us that God has ONE right path for us to follow or we are "out of his will". But rather that we 1. love the lord your god with all your heart, sould, mind and strength and 2. Love others as yourself.
If those two things come first, you just cant convince me that the choices we make in life will do anything other than bring him Glory.

Just as there are MANY ways to raise children in a way that they will grow up knowing their Creator and loving Him and others, there are multiple paths that belivers take in their walk with the Lord.

As i said, a few of your topics ARE moral/biblical issues that have FIRM TRUTHS. Sex outside of marriage. Divorce. Pride. But MOST of your topics are your own personal convictions... which there is nothing wrong with! But they dont belong in a post stating that societal norms are against Gods word. :-)

Cindy said...

I don't understand why so many people are offended by this post. I don't think people truly read it. Danielle didn't say every woman should be a SAHM. She didn't say women who work outside the home are doing a disservice to their families. She was speaking from HER personal experience. God may not intend for every woman to be a SAHM. I feel like it's a problem if your job comes first and your family gets what's leftover. I want sooooo bad to be a SAHM. I'm never happier than when I'm working in my "nest". I am praying and believing that I will be there full time very soon! I understand what Danielle meant when she said she didn't feel she was the help meet to Jonathan that she needed to be when she worked.

Anonymous said...

God will bless you for speaking what He put on your heart.

2 ti.4.3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;

chelsi tullos said...

Why were some readers so offended to the point of being a bit cruel? These were generalized topics that Danielle feels convicted about...enough to share with strangers, enough to be vulnerable, enough to admit her faults and what she feels to be her bigger "fails" in her spiritual walk. She was not judging or pointing fingers. This post was personal and about her. Did you all miss that part when she clearly said " I've done these myself"? She is trying to help those who may be struggling with the same issues, help them overcome those issues to establish a closer relationship with our Savior. If you didn't find this post helpful... move on, but don't judge and ridicule. Danielle, remember that topics/conversations that make ppl feel uncomfortable and uneasy, the ones that make us self reflect, the ones that create tension and negativity also promote the most personal growth. I know that's what you have accomplished here. I am so proud of you! I love you! Those of you posting hateful words behind an anonymous username....Shame on you. Bold anonymous words are those of selfish and insecure, coward. You know who you are. - Chelsi Tullos

chelsi tullos said...

Why were some readers so offended to the point of being a bit cruel? These were generalized topics that Danielle feels convicted about...enough to share with strangers, enough to be vulnerable, enough to admit her faults and what she feels to be her bigger "fails" in her spiritual walk. She was not judging or pointing fingers. This post was personal and about her. Did you all miss that part when she clearly said " I've done these myself"? She is trying to help those who may be struggling with the same issues, help them overcome those issues to establish a closer relationship with our Savior. If you didn't find this post helpful... move on, but don't judge and ridicule. Danielle, remember that topics/conversations that make ppl feel uncomfortable and uneasy, the ones that make us self reflect, the ones that create tension and negativity also promote the most personal growth. I know that's what you have accomplished here. I am so proud of you! I love you! Those of you posting hateful words behind an anonymous username....Shame on you. Bold anonymous words are those of selfish and insecure, coward. You know who you are. - Chelsi Tullos

Anonymous said...

Dear Chelsi,

"Selfish," "Insecure" and "Coward?" Perhaps you should evaluate who is, in fact, being cruel. Simply because you choose to sign your name means nothing.

As for "not judging or pointing fingers," you should read the post again. This blog post makes such broad, unfounded statements like:

"I think you can at least agree with me that our world has NOT become a better place in the last 60 –70 years since moms have left the homes in masses to enter the work force, right?"

- Women in the 1940s/1950s would likely disagree with that assertion. Particularly, African-American women might. After all, there are now laws protecting their very existence and safety. To try and claim that any problems of the current world are tied to women working is nonsensical.

"It honestly blows my mind when husbands would RATHER their wives work."

- Why? So that each person can contribute financially to their household? So that a woman could (gasp!) have some independence, control and be proud of her contribution to her home?

"The reality is, most of us don't need two incomes, but we choose to live beyond our means."

- I missed the part where you became a financial or economic expert. Shilling for a MLM company doesn't count, by the way.

Dullgirl said...

Danielle - thanks for sharing your heart. Obviously (from the comments others left) your opinions are popular but that is why God gives us all the ability to choose and make decisions according to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Keep on keeping on...

Rosie Banks said...

You dont know much about her life huh. Life is a risk.

Elise Rogers said...

I just want to say, despite all these negative comments, that this is YOUR blog, YOUR thoughts, and YOUR personal convictions. Most are convictions and not preaching from the Bible. There is a massive difference between a conviction and what God tells us in His Word. Of course the Bible doesn't say you shouldn't drink, use birth control, etc. but it does give us guidelines. People reading your blog don't have to agree with your convictions, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. I've been reading your blog for over a year now and it has been an encouragement. Do I agree with every single conviction written? No, but I completely understand where you are coming from. Most readers who have written you negative comments seem to have failed to read that these are your thoughts :)

Diana said...

Hi! Just a quick note that I LOVED this article! Good job, and kudos on being willing to speak on controversial subjects. As a side note, we stopped using birth control about four years ago, and it has been the biggest blessing in the world. If God is truly sovereign, and if he is the author of each conception (which he is), then he can be trusted to bring new life in his perfect timing!! It was nerve-wracking, but it's brought the greatest peace. My one regret is that we practiced birth control for the first few years of our marriage, doing the expected "waiting a few years" bit. I regret our rejection of God's gifts during those years very much.

On a side note, I notice that some commenters are being extremely unkind here. It's totally okay to express dissenting opinions, but some are being downright cruel. I would encourage you to consider requiring commenters to express dissenting opinions politely and kindly, rather than letting them publish comments to intentionally try to hurt you with harsh words.

Have a wonderful day!!

Gillian said...

Amen, sister. Well said. Sometimes the truth is hard to take ... but it all goes back to the Bible. What does the Bible say? Follow it and God will direct your steps.