First of all, let me apologize if this post seems a little scattered. I am SUPER tired today and have sorta been in a funk lately….just not quite myself. It happens, and I’m getting over it. I wanted to post though because it’s been way too long since I’ve written a blog entry, and I always like to at least attempt to verbalize my thoughts. So here we go….
Let me just be honest here. I have been SO unmotivated to run for the past three weeks or so. I’ve barely logged my mileage and have even missed a run here and there. Good thing I’m in the tapering phase, huh?
I’ve been running consistently since July, so I think I’m just somewhat burnt out. Burnt out on waking up at 5:30 am, burnt out on this cold weather, burnt out on washing running clothes almost daily.
Don’t get me wrong….once I actually start moving, I LOVE it. We had an AWESOME run on Monday & I felt GREAT. I’ve even conquered a negative split a few times. And long runs are definitely easier this training period. But I am fighting myself to make myself run- every time. Sound crazy?? Maybe a little.
That being said, I’ve been a little nervous about Miami. This time next week I’ll be on a southbound plane heading straight for South Beach. I’d be lyin’ if I said I haven’t doubted myself a few times and wondered if I should have just signed up for the half. I will be going from 30 degree, dry air to 70-80 degrees + humidity. Jonathan won’t be there. And I’m going to have to carry my phone.
Of course my goal is to run this marathon faster than my last one. I don’t like it when I set a goal for myself and don’t achieve it. (I mean, duh, nobody does….but I’m sorta a dork and take my goal setting very seriously.) I keep thinking how embarrassing it will be for me if I have to say I finished my first marathon ever faster than my second….
And then I remind myself….FINISHING IS WINNING.
{By the way…I REALLY thought I made that up myself, but ole Kate Gosselin was rockin’ this t at her marathon….I wonder if she reads my blog and stole it from me??}
ANYWAY…A quote my college softball coach used to say keeps popping into my head too. “Control the controllables.” In games, we obviously couldn’t control the weather, the umpires, the field conditions, etc. So we had to focus on what we could control. Our attitude, effort, and preparation. The same is true for this race. I have to control the controllables. Make sure I have all my gear, get a good night’s sleep, stay hydrated, stretched, and eat right. And I have to remain CONFIDENT. Then I can run my little tail off and hope for the best….
So, after a couple weeks of playing these mental games with myself, I finally woke up this morning @ 5 am and headed to meet Crissy for a run. I REALLY wish I had a picture of us from this morning. It was 31 degrees outside, so I rocked it out in my cold gear tights + another pair of workout pants, 2 pairs of socks, ear warmers and a toboggan, a t shirt, long sleeve tee, and a jacket.
Crissy rolls up in shorts and a tank top. And ran that way the whole time. And she ran FAST. I couldn’t keep up. She is the epitome of hard core.
Here I am, all bundled up, running at a nice leisurely pace, being scared of my own shadow (true story!), and almost in tears because my face is SO cold and my eyes are watering….and then there is Crissy. Half naked in the freezing cold, practically sprinting, and screaming a little. Not like sissy screaming….I mean screaming like people do at the gym when they are lifting really heavy weight.
Haha, I guess that’s why she runs a 3:25 marathon and I hold it down around 4:20.
So, there’s my little running update.
Now I’ve gotta go get myself together mentally because obviously I’m a basket case.
Don’t worry…I’ll post something more “normal” later…
9 comments:
I get this way too when I'm burnt out from training or doing too much of the same thing. But like you said, you're in the taper mode and you ARE running, even if you don't want to be. So go easy on yourself! You'll be fine for the race. You've put in the hard training and the long runs. Now it's just maintenance until race day.
And if it makes you feel any better, I've done 3 half marathons and each one was slower than the previous (though I'm hoping to reverse that trend this year). It is what it is. So many factors go into a single race day that even the best training could be derailed.
Now go get some sleep! ;)
make sure you rest really well after this marathon. that kind of burnout needs to be nipped in the bud and you need to take care of yourself. you are doing great and you will ROCK miami! you are so right that finishing is amazing and you will (and are) great!
I love that quote you shared from your softball coach! It's such a simple concept, but I'd never really thought about it in those terms and that gives me a great perspective for handling race jitters!
I totally understand the burn-out feeling - I felt that way last summer/this fall and took a few months off to focus on other fitness fun so that I could come back rejuvenated - before you know it you'll have crushed Miami and be free to zumba/roller skate/sit on the couch/whatever!
Be strong!!! You are just tired. The Lord is your rear guard and you're gonna kick butt this weekend. You are probably just tired from work and life in general. It happens to us all. You are also probably wishing your hubby would be there on the sidelines. You will do great. God will be right there witcha, girl! I have no doubt!!! I know you will do better than the first one!
Get a SPI belt so you won't have to carry your phone! You can order one on amazon and it will be at your house in 2 days. I have one that i got a few months ago and i wear it running all the time for long distances and I dont even feel it! it is great for carrying your phone or even energy gels, car keys, or anything you need when you are running.
Hang in there girl! You can do it! :) I'll keep you in my prayers!
DO I run? Sure...............
if someone is chasing me! LOL You rock! I hate running (usually why I love the eliptical so much at the gym!) haha
Good luck--you can do it!
You keep it up seeester! Have the time of your life! :)
YOU GOT IT GIRLFRIEND!!! I totally know how you feel, but YOU CAN DO IT!!!
I love the softball quote, keep that running through your head. Just think, there are SOOO many people out there (including myself) who have YET to even attempt to run a marathon and you are running more than one! That is a feat in itself! YOu can do it and people you don't even know are gonna be thinking of you and cheering for you!!!
xoxo
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